but I can’t, because what if he hears me and I won’t be able to look him in the eyes again (not that I look him in the eyes anyways) and when I first start thinking about masturbating I start to wonder when he does it and where. maybe in the shower where I shower and at the toilet that I use and everywhere in the flat that I’m living in
to keep my self from eating too much crap, I keep it in the kitchen, because there I never dare go.
and I don’t want him to see how much I actually eat
He’s watching some really bad TV, very loud… But I don’t want to tell him to turn the volume down
I want ice cream
but it’s in the freezer
and he’s in the kitchen!!
Everytime when I come home, I repeat inside me “he’s not home he’s not home he’s not home” and cross my fingers. The whole time, as I walk up the stairs to my floor and open the door.
all I eat is porridge. it only takes five minutes to make
anxiety #6: make food when people are around
(especially people I don’t know too well, and food I’m not 100% sure how to make)